Up in Smoke!

I was reading my own post. But I remembered the exact reason why I left it. But I did not mention it in full truth since I did not want my sister to know how I had felt on that day!

Now, my sister is no more. But the reason why I left smoking was... She mentioned once in the hospital..."I will not take a smoker's blood", when I wanted to give my blood to her. She needed a transfusion and the hospital wanted a donor, and I volunteered immediately but she refused. I felt so ashamed of myself that I could not give blood to my sister, though many of my friends and colleagues did. I felt so helpless and so lonely. That day was the day I felt I was worthless. If I could not give up smoking, I was a total waste. And I did give up smoking ...with the thought of my sister..and I steeled it using other metaphysical resolves...thanks to my sister. Chomi..where ever you are I will always love you. I wish you to come back to me in your next birth.