Sunday, March 19, 2006

Thank you Everyone

Thank you everyone for the heartfelt condolences and kind wishes. I am very glad that Sowmya had such wonderful friends in her blog world who respected her a lot. I am also grateful to the others who knew very less about her but still sent their condolences as a mark of respect for her memories. Thank you all.
I am now discussing with my family on whether to post the chain of events which lead to her untimely demise. She would have lived for a longer period if not for the doctors carelessness in administering the treatment.
There are 2 trains of thoughts running here.
1. Some feel that the causes be mentioned since somebody else could benefit out of it. They can also question the all knowing doctors on their treatment methods and not accept blindly. (We have questioned and proposed the latest lines of treatment through the best doctors from around the world and even then, there has been a lapse in methodology of treatment in the Indian counterpart)
2. Others feel that now she is no more, let not her "fight" be known. Except for the family and a few good friends, no one else knows, and let it be the same. Let the world not know the pain and suffering she underwent and just remember her as they knew her as happy memories.
Still discussing...

Friday, March 10, 2006

My sister “Sowmya”

To sum up, The Brave Fighter is how I wish to remember her as.. She loved life and wanted to live as happily as ever with her family. She did not like anybody around her to be sad and neither was she sad. In fact, any cinemas / dramas with sad scenes would be forwarded or the channel changed. If my mom was sad, she would immediately sit near her and cheer her up.

Most people who know my sister know her as a happy person, who was living her life normally and most of them will, but very few ppl are aware that she fought an illness with such strong determination that we (the family and close friends) all were wishful in thinking that she was winning the war though a series of victories in her battles. We consulted the best doctors in the world in the best hospitals, and she had been given the latest line of treatment. Some of her friends were very helpful in getting the best doctors and my sister and her husband met one of the best doctors in the US. Since our house was a bit small, during treatment my little sister's parents had provided their house and they treated Sowmya with love, encouragement and happiness. My BIL had also taken a break from office and worked from home so that he could be with her. We also followed up on homeopathy and other non-allopathic medicines. On the spiritual side, we prayed for her in all the temples mentioned (Pariharams) and I had specifically wanted Rudra abhishekams to be performed in her name every month at Kapaleeswarar temple and I had also paid in advance for Archanai in her name at Vaideashwaran Koil. My dad who is 63 yrs old, got up at 3'o clock everyday to chant Soundarya Lahiri for her in the brahma murhurtham. He also went to all possible places and doctors searching for the ultimate cure. Before every visit to the hospital, he would go there first and book rooms so that his daughter could have privacy and be with the family. My mom was with her most of the time and gave her positive reinforcements. She was encouraged when she was sad. She was coaxed and cajoled to eat her food and comforted when she felt sad. There were many times that she cried her heaqrth out saying "Why should everything go wrong with me ?" All those times my mom patted her and said things will get better and she should not lose courage. She did not till the end and she even showed us a thumbs up sign.

Now, she is no more. She passed away after a struggle at Apollo hospital in Chennai on the night of Maha Sivarathiri. I just stood near her along with my family just holding her hand and speaking soothing words to her, telling her that she would come out of it soon and we can be happy after this battle. She fought till her last breath and she wanted to live. In her last days she suffered so much that none of us could sit near her for more than a few minutes without crying. I cannot understand how God can be so indifferent!! A few years back, I was much into meditation and I did not want to live in this world at all, he could have just taken my life earlier on, instead of hers.

I find that I cannot still reconcile myself to the fact that my sister is no more. I still cannot accept it. She certainly looked like she was winning the war, but for the doctors’ wrong treatment methods. Specific instructions provided by world renowned doctors were not followed by the Indian counterpart in full. He had given her a line of treatment as he deemed fit (different from the other doctors’ recommendations) and he has in effect killed my sister. I certainly did not like the words used by him. Quote: “Don’t tell me how to run my unit, I will run it as I please!” – He used them when we had suggested for a different line of treatment and a second opinion from a different doctor. He was completely commercialized!!! It is a unit he speaks of ….and not a human life!!! Words fail me beyond this point, I shall post more when I am more composed.

Who was she in the blogging world ? - Sowmya at