Friday, March 10, 2006

My sister “Sowmya”

To sum up, The Brave Fighter is how I wish to remember her as.. She loved life and wanted to live as happily as ever with her family. She did not like anybody around her to be sad and neither was she sad. In fact, any cinemas / dramas with sad scenes would be forwarded or the channel changed. If my mom was sad, she would immediately sit near her and cheer her up.

Most people who know my sister know her as a happy person, who was living her life normally and most of them will, but very few ppl are aware that she fought an illness with such strong determination that we (the family and close friends) all were wishful in thinking that she was winning the war though a series of victories in her battles. We consulted the best doctors in the world in the best hospitals, and she had been given the latest line of treatment. Some of her friends were very helpful in getting the best doctors and my sister and her husband met one of the best doctors in the US. Since our house was a bit small, during treatment my little sister's parents had provided their house and they treated Sowmya with love, encouragement and happiness. My BIL had also taken a break from office and worked from home so that he could be with her. We also followed up on homeopathy and other non-allopathic medicines. On the spiritual side, we prayed for her in all the temples mentioned (Pariharams) and I had specifically wanted Rudra abhishekams to be performed in her name every month at Kapaleeswarar temple and I had also paid in advance for Archanai in her name at Vaideashwaran Koil. My dad who is 63 yrs old, got up at 3'o clock everyday to chant Soundarya Lahiri for her in the brahma murhurtham. He also went to all possible places and doctors searching for the ultimate cure. Before every visit to the hospital, he would go there first and book rooms so that his daughter could have privacy and be with the family. My mom was with her most of the time and gave her positive reinforcements. She was encouraged when she was sad. She was coaxed and cajoled to eat her food and comforted when she felt sad. There were many times that she cried her heaqrth out saying "Why should everything go wrong with me ?" All those times my mom patted her and said things will get better and she should not lose courage. She did not till the end and she even showed us a thumbs up sign.

Now, she is no more. She passed away after a struggle at Apollo hospital in Chennai on the night of Maha Sivarathiri. I just stood near her along with my family just holding her hand and speaking soothing words to her, telling her that she would come out of it soon and we can be happy after this battle. She fought till her last breath and she wanted to live. In her last days she suffered so much that none of us could sit near her for more than a few minutes without crying. I cannot understand how God can be so indifferent!! A few years back, I was much into meditation and I did not want to live in this world at all, he could have just taken my life earlier on, instead of hers.

I find that I cannot still reconcile myself to the fact that my sister is no more. I still cannot accept it. She certainly looked like she was winning the war, but for the doctors’ wrong treatment methods. Specific instructions provided by world renowned doctors were not followed by the Indian counterpart in full. He had given her a line of treatment as he deemed fit (different from the other doctors’ recommendations) and he has in effect killed my sister. I certainly did not like the words used by him. Quote: “Don’t tell me how to run my unit, I will run it as I please!” – He used them when we had suggested for a different line of treatment and a second opinion from a different doctor. He was completely commercialized!!! It is a unit he speaks of ….and not a human life!!! Words fail me beyond this point, I shall post more when I am more composed.

Who was she in the blogging world ? - Sowmya at
http://jlt-chumma.blogspot.com

65 comments:

hari said...

Harry,

Its really shocking and a grave tragedy. Her blog was one of my earliest links. A very spirited girl indeed. I was wondering for long why she was missing from the blogworld, in fact she gave family problems as the reason. If I am not wrong she got married only recently.

I really cannot understand how God can be so cruel sometimes to take away people who can do so much good to this world by their sheer spirit and charm.

I understand that the void created by Sowmya's untimely demise can never be bridged my friend, but the greatest tribute to her is that you spread the spirit and charm that she used to selflessly enchant people with both in this blogworld and outside.

My heartfelt condolences to you, your family and her husband. My prayers will always be with you and may her soul rest in peace.

hari said...

Harry, actually what health problem did she suffer from ?

Hari said...

hari, thanks for your wishes. I am gathering the latest line of medines administered to her. Let me put in full so that any others reading this blog may benefit from it. I shall update my blog soon.

And Ranjani, thanks for your wishes. You can reach me at sharikrishnan@yahoo.com

capriciously_me said...

came thru ravi's blog...My deepest condolences...i cannot even begin to imagine ur pain...may god be with you and your family thru this! i used to read sowmya's blog for quite a while and she was always full of energy! my prayers with you'll.

Krish said...

This is really saddening. Sowmya used to be a frequent commenter on my blog and had also interacted with my father. Words cannot be any consolation for your family but hope you will bear the loss with strength. We will all miss her.

Kiruba Shankar said...

Harry, it's with a heavy heart I'm writing this. Even though many of us would not have met her, we had formed a kind of connection through her blog. I know it must be very hard for you and your family. Wishing you a lot of emotional strength in these times of sadness.

Hari said...

Thank you all for your kind wishes. Sowmya did not wish that anybody know of her illness, she lived a happy life and wanted others to be happy too. That was another reason why I had to stop talking with some friends when they got too inquisitive. (Sorry to whom I did for that! I considered my sisters wishes more important.)Her consideration for others was so high that she had asked all of us to eat just the night before (when she had not eaten any food for 4 days and was on drips). She was brave and positive throughout and fought to live till her last breath.

Anonymous said...

Harry,
Heartfelt condolences. Your eulogy brought tears to my eyes. I do not have any more words but just shock.

Chinmayi Sripada /Chinmayee said...

Came in through Thennavan's blog. Our heartfelt condolences to your and your family, and hope and pray that the universe give you the strength to go through this difficult period.

Chakra said...

my god! couldn't believe this.. i have interacted with her few times in the past and it is cruel. may you have the strength to get over the loss!

che sara sara said...

i dunno what to say...
i never visited her blog
but today i did...for the first time
and she is no more
feel really feeling heavy at heart

Usha said...

I pray to god to give you and your family the strength to reconcile to this bereavement. I have no words to console you. I can see she was a wonderful friend and a lovely person from the kind words with which everyone remembers her. What a loss.

Anonymous said...

I'm feeling heavy. She was on my blogroll. My heartfelt condolences.

Houseowner said...

harry,

i've not been here before, but i used to know sowmya through her blog. and i've shared some really good laughs with her. in fact, i was wondering only a few days back what had happened to her blog as it had not been updated for a bit.
My deepest condolences to you, your family and sowmya's husband. You are blessed in that you knew such a wonderful person. And I say this with a heart full of grief.

ramya

Anand S said...

She was one of the first blog sites I bookmarked, I would always check her blog first to see for any update......but now....I am really sorry for her loss. Me and my wife offer our heartfelt condolences.

ammani said...

I cannot imagine what it must be like to lose a sibling. My heartfelt condolences. Hope you have the strength to get through these trying times.

Doctor Bruno said...

My heartfelt condolences to your and your family,

Anonymous said...

My heartfelt condolences to your and your family.

sathish said...

Hi Harry, Our heart felt condolences to you and your family and her husband.

Anonymous said...

Hello Harry,
I never knew Soumya, but I got to hear from fellow bloggers about her demise. My deepest condolences to you and your family, and especially to her husband. No amount of words we say can wipe the pain off your hearts. We can only pray for her soul. May her soul rest in eternal peace.

The Guy Next Door said...

Every blade in the field,
Every beautiful leaf in the forest,
Lays down its life in its season,
As beautifully as it was taken up

Keep the faith,mate

Chez said...

I'd been visiting her blog a number of times when she was off it. It feels sad not to have known of her illness. We'd have prayed more.

Accept my deepest condolences.

Ananya S P said...

Hi Harry

Please accept my deepest condolences to you and your family. Came in through your blog through Suman's blog (http://sumankumar.com). He had posted that the doctors in India are meted out cruel treatment to which I had lashed out that its the doctors who screw the common man quoting Malar Hospital Etc. One reader had left a comment with a link to your post.

Once again my deepest condolences and may God give you and your family the strength to overcome this terrible loss!

Diana Sahu said...

Hi Harry,
Never came across Soumya before. bt learned about her through Ramya's blog. Never read any of her posts bt the news of her death leaves me heavy hearted. I dnt knw why. death of a near one is really sad bt she must b in a better world nw, free from all world miseries.
MAY GOD BLESS HER SOUL.

smiley said...

Our heart felt condolences :(

Avinash said...

Hello,
I came to know about this tragic incident thro' Pradeep's Blog. My deepest Condolences to u and to ur family...

:-(

Anonymous said...

After reading this last evening, I just couldnt sleep last night.

My heartfelt condolences. Padichalae azhugaya varudu. It must have been terrible for Sowmya to have gone through all the pain.
May God give you enough courage . Romba kashtama irukkuppa

Anonymous said...

Heartfelt condolences harry :-(

sathish said...

Heartfelt condolences to u and ur family..
i have read her blogs few times.
its quite unfortunate that certain times end is thru pain and nt peace..
May her soul rest in peace..

PVS said...

Hi Harry,

I have been a regular reader of Sowmya's blog and didnt have a clue that she was suffering so much. I'm shocked to know that she is no more with us. Will pray for u and ur family.

May her soul rest in peace.

மதி கந்தசாமி (Mathy Kandasamy) said...

My heartfelt condolences to you and your family.

May he soul rest in peace.

-Mathy

Anonymous said...

Though I have not interacted with her, I feel really really very heavy at heart.
My heartfelt condolences to you and your family!!
May her soul rest in peace.

kuttichuvaru said...

came here thro' thennavan's... my heartfelt condolences to u and ur family..

Anonymous said...

My deepest condolences.

I have visited her blog few times and i was a silent reader. I was shocked to hear this news.She tried to be normal fun loving girland never gave any indication about her struggle.

I pray God to give you and your family members enough courage to overcome this unrecoverable loss.

Anonymous said...

Dear Harry,

I have been a silent reader of your sister's blog. I really wish i had communicated with such a lovely and strong person when i had an oppurtunity.
I felt very sad when i read the news today at chakra's blog. Infact i had visited her blog even yesterday to see if there were any updates.

My heart goes out to you and and your family. May her soul rest in peace and may God give you all the courage and strength during the most difficult time of your life.

Warm Regards,
Raji

REFLEX said...

I frequently checking her blog and assumed that after her marriage she has become so budy. I felt so heavy to hear this. May God be with her family members.
Rest in peace.

The Practical Idealist said...

My heartfelt condolences to you - I can understand what it is like to lose someone like your sister.

May you, your parents, and her husband not lose faith in God, and get the peace that you so thoroughly require.

Shiv said...

Heartfelt condolences Harry...May her soul rest in Peace and may the Almighty give strength to all of your family members..

Subhashri said...

My heartfelt condolences..I pray for the departed soul..It must have been so hard toloose such a caring and lovely sibling..I pray for your family's strength..
Bhooma

Hari said...

Dear NEL,
I had in the past concentrated on meditation activities where I would have put both happiness and grief on the same level but as I human with love for life I am unable to accept grief that too of a loved one who wanted to live.

Anonymous said...

condolences...came here through desipundit, hadn't seen her blog before, am reading it now...cannot even fathom what you are going through...god help you with the courage and strength....

Anonymous said...

:(
Harry all words of condolence will mean nothing...still would wish u strength and peace.
Hope she was not suffering from cancer.

Shammi said...

I learnt only recently that Sowmya had passed away. She was one of my earliest blogger friends, and I really wish I'd been able to meet her and get to know her as a person rather than just through our blogs. She was very kind and responded promptly to my comments and emails. My deepest condolences to you and your family in this time of grief.

Jagadish said...

I was Sowmya's classmate in Vidya Mandir. It was a real shock to me, like I wrote, especially since she seemed to be living in the same area of Bangalore that I live in.

Shruthi said...

Harry, I am so sorry... I did not know her, but I went through her blog just now..... and read the tributes of other bloggers too, and I am in tears...
Be strong.

ஜெ. ராம்கி said...

Sorry. Just now i heard from Gilli.

May her soul rest in peace!

Anonymous said...

My deepest condolences :(

Anonymous said...

Heartfelt condolences Harry...I also recall reading her blog earlier...i'm in tears now...
May her soul rest in peace


shub

Rubic_Cube said...

Came in via Thennavan. My heartfelt condolences.

Pavan said...

Sorry for ur loss.. may she rest in peace..

gP said...

I discovered this post abit late.

I'm very sorry to hear she passed away. I discovered so much in the blogging world, and then everyday, there's much more to learn and live through. We are humans, both strong and fragile. We always wanted them to go live a less painfull and better life somewhere. I may not have read her blog often or knew her in person, but the sadness i felt while reading this is deep. Sometimes we hope to hold to everything so close, when the time comes to let go we cant do anything. But to think that she could have been saved is much more painful to read. A devil snatched her too early to give her a chance to heal. I hope the doctor would answer to someone who has the say over him. It is not fair to put our lives in someone who treats humans as objects rather than family or friends. There is no end to this, but we have the power to change. MY condolences to you and your family.

God bless the soul of those departed to early. May she wake up in a land where the sun rises to no pain in the morning. Love.

Anonymous said...

hi hari,

Just learnt about this tragic news about your sister's demise. IT was a sudden shock to me. My heartfelt condolences to your and your family. I am a classmate of your younger sis at PSBB. I am not sure that you remember who I am too.
PLease convey my deepest condolences to your parents and your sis.

My prayers for her soul to rest in peace.

Ananthoo said...

sorry! I came to know of the sad demise thru Thennavan and feel very sorry for this early departure of ur sis..my sincere condolences to ur family and hope u gather all the strength to come of this himalayan sorrow..

cosmicblob said...

She sounds like a brave girl, who lived her life to the fullest despite the odds, and if she has left anything, it is a mark in the hearts of those who knew her and those who didn't alike (like me).

May her family stay close and strong - for she would have wanted that.

Anu said...

Hi..

I am really sorry abt Soumya..after October ,I thought she just changed her blogger space...She was one of my blogger pals.. and i will really miss her

Anu

Anu said...

Soumya was one of my earliest blogger pals..I will miss her..my condolences to your family

Anu

IBH said...

My heartfelt condolences Harry!

I came to her blog when I read her marriage post abt she being a tambram marrying a malayalee guy...i said yey to her! coz my marriage is the same take on it too!

from then on kept visiting her blog but in vain...now to know this fact makes me feel sad and cry!I dont know her..nor do i know you...but I can understand the feeling u are going thru...

May god be with you an dyour family ! and all my strength and courage be passed on to u!

Anonymous said...

Harry,

My deepest condolences to you and your family. May her soul rest in peace.

Take care,
Priya

துளசி கோபால் said...

Harry,

I am really sorry . May her soul rest in peace.

Tulsi Gopal from New Zealand

Gladtomeetin said...

Harry, I got to know about Sowmya just now...I checked her blog and was happy to know what kinda of person she was....Infact after reading your blog, feeling so bad...

Attimes things goes beyond our control....Be Strong..Let her soul rest in peace !

Take Care of Yourself and your parents !

Anonymous said...

May her soul rest in peace. May God give you and your family the strength to bear this loss.

Abhishek said...

harry...sorry to know abt sowmya.
feels thats its the end of the world wen u knw that u've lost a close companion...
but these are F.A.C.T.S n n as everyone one my recent post mentioned...u'll have to learn living with them...

Anonymous said...

Dear Harry,

Our deepest condolences to you and your family. We are humbled by your sister's truly brave spirit. Felt very sad to read the news. Her strong character is inspiring to all.

Take care,
A & N (just stumbled onto your blogs last week)...

Anonymous said...

Our heartfelt condolences to your family. I got to know about Choms's demise through BITSAA newsletter. I was her junior in BITS and I remember her as a bubbly and loving girl. May she rest in peace. Deepest Sympathies to your family. - Subhashini

Sundar Ramanathan said...

Even though i never knew sowmya, my heart felt condolence! I pray almighty for her peace.