Thank you Everyone

Thank you everyone for the heartfelt condolences and kind wishes. I am very glad that Sowmya had such wonderful friends in her blog world who respected her a lot. I am also grateful to the others who knew very less about her but still sent their condolences as a mark of respect for her memories. Thank you all.

I am now discussing with my family on whether to post the chain of events which lead to her untimely demise. She would have lived for a longer period if not for the doctors carelessness in administering the treatment.

There are 2 trains of thoughts running here.

1. Some feel that the causes be mentioned since somebody else could benefit out of it. They can also question the all knowing doctors on their treatment methods and not accept blindly. (We have questioned and proposed the latest lines of treatment through the best doctors from around the world and even then, there has been a lapse in methodology of treatment in the Indian counterpart)

2. Others feel that now she is no more, let not her "fight" be known. Except for the family and a few good friends, no one else knows, and let it be the same. Let the world not know the pain and suffering she underwent and just remember her as they knew her as happy memories.

Still discussing...

My sister “Sowmya”

To sum up, The Brave Fighter is how I wish to remember her as.. She loved life and wanted to live as happily as ever with her family. She did not like anybody around her to be sad and neither was she sad. In fact, any cinemas / dramas with sad scenes would be forwarded or the channel changed. If my mom was sad, she would immediately sit near her and cheer her up.

Most people who know my sister know her as a happy person, who was living her life normally and most of them will, but very few ppl are aware that she fought an illness with such strong determination that we (the family and close friends) all were wishful in thinking that she was winning the war though a series of victories in her battles. We consulted the best doctors in the world in the best hospitals, and she had been given the latest line of treatment. Some of her friends were very helpful in getting the best doctors and my sister and her husband met one of the best doctors in the US. Since our house was a bit small, during treatment my little sister's parents had provided their house and they treated Sowmya with love, encouragement and happiness. My BIL had also taken a break from office and worked from home so that he could be with her. We also followed up on homeopathy and other non-allopathic medicines. On the spiritual side, we prayed for her in all the temples mentioned (Pariharams) and I had specifically wanted Rudra abhishekams to be performed in her name every month at Kapaleeswarar temple and I had also paid in advance for Archanai in her name at Vaideashwaran Koil. My dad who is 63 yrs old, got up at 3'o clock everyday to chant Soundarya Lahiri for her in the brahma murhurtham. He also went to all possible places and doctors searching for the ultimate cure. Before every visit to the hospital, he would go there first and book rooms so that his daughter could have privacy and be with the family. My mom was with her most of the time and gave her positive reinforcements. She was encouraged when she was sad. She was coaxed and cajoled to eat her food and comforted when she felt sad. There were many times that she cried her heaqrth out saying "Why should everything go wrong with me ?" All those times my mom patted her and said things will get better and she should not lose courage. She did not till the end and she even showed us a thumbs up sign.

Now, she is no more. She passed away after a struggle at Apollo hospital in Chennai on the night of Maha Sivarathiri. I just stood near her along with my family just holding her hand and speaking soothing words to her, telling her that she would come out of it soon and we can be happy after this battle. She fought till her last breath and she wanted to live. In her last days she suffered so much that none of us could sit near her for more than a few minutes without crying. I cannot understand how God can be so indifferent!! A few years back, I was much into meditation and I did not want to live in this world at all, he could have just taken my life earlier on, instead of hers.

I find that I cannot still reconcile myself to the fact that my sister is no more. I still cannot accept it. She certainly looked like she was winning the war, but for the doctors’ wrong treatment methods. Specific instructions provided by world renowned doctors were not followed by the Indian counterpart in full. He had given her a line of treatment as he deemed fit (different from the other doctors’ recommendations) and he has in effect killed my sister. I certainly did not like the words used by him. Quote: “Don’t tell me how to run my unit, I will run it as I please!” – He used them when we had suggested for a different line of treatment and a second opinion from a different doctor. He was completely commercialized!!! It is a unit he speaks of ….and not a human life!!! Words fail me beyond this point, I shall post more when I am more composed.

Who was she in the blogging world ? - Sowmya at http://jlt-chumma.blogspot.com

Back to US: Philadelphia

Yes, I am back to US. I have escaped the winters twice but this time I guess I have to go through the icy stuff. Being a madrasi, anything less than 8 deg celcisus is cold and this city seems to provide -5 Farenheit. One part of me does not like this winter stuff but the other part wants to move in the snow.

I am married now, but my wife is in India and the interview date is a long way off (4 months). I have been with my wife for only 1 moonth after marriage and again back to bachelor days! I have asked my company guys to speed up things, but not much seems to be happening now. I guess it will be more fun if she can join me before the winter. (Keeping fingers crossed x). Konjam polambal mathiri irruku.... but my wife does that everyday with me and she is certainly not very fond of the persons responding to her H4 queried from my company. One person even mentioned she had resigned and my wife innocently believed that !!

Hoping for the best for now.

The Real BOSS

Scientists at the Rocket launching station in Thumba, were in the habit of working for nearly 12 to 18 hours a day. There were about seventy such scientists working on a project. All the scientists were really frustrated due to the pressure of work and the demands of their boss but everyone was loyal to him and did not think of quitting the job.

One day, one scientist came to his boss and told him - Sir, I have promised to my children that I will take them to the exhibition going on in our township. So I want to leave the office at 5 30 pm.
His boss replied - O K, , You are permitted to leave the office early today. The Scientist started working. He continued his work after lunch. As usual he got involved to such an extent that he looked at his watch when he felt he was close to completion. The time was 8.30 p.m. Suddenly he remembered of the promise he had given to his children. He looked for his boss. He was not there. Having told him in the morning itself, he closed everything and left for home.

Deep within himself, he was feeling guilty for having disappointed his children. He reached home. Children were not there. His wife alone was sitting in the hall and reading magazines. The intuition was explosive; any talk would boomerang on him.

His wife asked him - Would you like to have coffee or shall I straight away serve dinner if you are hungry. The man replied - If you would like to have coffee, i too will have but what about Children???
Wife replied- You don't know - Your manager came at 5 15 p.m and has taken the children to the exhibition.

What had really happened was the boss who granted him permission was observing him working seriously at 5.00 p.m. He thought to himself, this person will not leave the work, but if he has promised his children they should enjoy the visit to exhibition. So he took the lead in taking them to exhibition. The boss does not have to do it every time. But once it is done, loyalty is established.
That is why all the scientists at Thumba continued to work under their boss even though the stress was tremendous.

By the way, can you hazard a guess as to who the boss was????

He was the great A P J Abdul Kalam , President of India.

Self Appraisal

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits.
The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:
The boy asked, "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?
The woman replied, "I already have someone to cut my lawn."
"Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now." replied boy.
The woman responded that she was very satisfied with the person who was presently cutting her lawn.
The little boy found more perseverance and offered,"Lady, I'll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of North Palm beach,Florida."
Again the woman answered in the negative. With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver.

The store-owner, who was listening to all this, walked over to the boy and said, "Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."
The little boy replied,"No thanks, I was just checking my performance and the job I already have.I am the one who is working for that lady, I was talking to !"

Got Engaged !

Yeah, finally the day of my bachelorship are over and I am moving towards the couples area. I got engaged to a beautiful girl on the 4th of July (American Independence Day). No chance of forgetting that date. :) This is very much an arranged marriage with horoscope match and all the works. Yes, I am back in Chennai for now. Lucky me !